"Please never ever try to live a life that I did. It will be your worst nightmare. You died and left me craving. I always thought of having someone who would just sit and talk and talk and talk to me. Talk about random shit, even if it includes how his little sister asked for an extra candy when he asked her to be secretive about me. Those things would keep me near to him, to his soul, to his real self. I always wondered of having a warm, clear aura around me that didn't belong to me, but HIM. I wished for someone who would just sit comfortably and enjoy the awkward silence that I have within me. I wished for someone who would just sit infront of me and hand me a tub full of ice cream with a huge wooden spoon when I am crying rather than supporting me or hugging me. We could do the consoling shit later, but, for that time being, he would give me my ice cream tub with the spoon so that I could gather myself again and be strong, on my own, for myself, for him. He would know that I like to be alone, sometimes, many times, almost always and still is comfortable with that fact. He would know the reasons for my solitude and would still make me want to be with him and still be at peace and not the awkward, gawky self when I am around someone else. He would know why I am the way I am, why am I so wordless, why am I so self contained and still he would know me from within. Inspite of knowing my flaws, my faults, my weaknesses and my strengths (which don't exist anymore), he would be okay with it. He'll never try to make me stronger, but, would never let me break either. He won't be just a lover, he would be a friend, the friend that I need the most, simply because he'll know that I have lost my grounds on love. Still, I would love him, love him to the extent of dying for him. He would have some kind of peace in his eyes that would make me keep staring. When I will hold his hand, I'll know that I am safe. I would casually rest my head on his shoulder and listen to his random talk all day because I'm too weak to speak. He'll keep on going even with my lack of response because he'll know that I am listening to him, no matter what. He'll do all this and still never try to fix me, NEVER..! Because he'll know what kind of impact it can have on a broken soul. He'll love me more than words and still make sure that I turn into an independent individual who could live without his support. Not because he'll have to go someday. But, because he's there to stay. FOREVER..! And these words will still fall short to describe him. He'll be the indescribable wonder I would always want."
 |
| "We all have scars. We all have stories." |
After reading the letter, her mother had tears in her eyes. She turned the blood stained piece of paper in her hands. At the back, there was just one feebly written line,
"I found him and he went away.... I am going to search for him. Goodbye."
And her mother was only left with some words, tears and THE WISHFUL SILENCE....
