Wishful Silence...

"Please never ever try to live a life that I did. It will be your worst nightmare. You died and left me craving. I always thought of having someone who would just sit and talk and talk and talk to me. Talk about random shit, even if it includes how his little sister asked for an extra candy when he asked her to be secretive about me. Those things would keep me near to him, to his soul, to his real self. I always wondered of having a warm, clear aura around me that didn't belong to me, but HIM. I wished for someone who would just sit comfortably and enjoy the awkward silence that I have within me. I wished for someone who would just sit infront of me and hand me a tub full of ice cream with a huge wooden spoon when I am crying rather than supporting me or hugging me. We could do the consoling shit later, but, for that time being, he would give me my ice cream tub with the spoon so that I could gather myself again and be strong, on my own, for myself, for him. He would know that I like to be alone, sometimes, many times, almost always and still is comfortable with that fact. He would know the reasons for my solitude and would still make me want to be with him and still be at peace and not the awkward, gawky self when I am around someone else. He would know why I am the way I am, why am I so wordless, why am I so self contained and still he would know me from within. Inspite of knowing my flaws, my faults, my weaknesses and my strengths (which don't exist anymore), he would be okay with it. He'll never try to make me stronger, but, would never let me break either. He won't be just a lover, he would be a friend, the friend that I need the most, simply because he'll know that I have lost my grounds on love. Still, I would love him, love him to the extent of dying for him. He would have some kind of peace in his eyes that would make me keep staring. When I will hold his hand, I'll know that I am safe. I would casually rest my head on his shoulder and listen to his random talk all day because I'm too weak to speak. He'll keep on going even with my lack of response because he'll know that I am listening to him, no matter what. He'll do all this and still never try to fix me, NEVER..! Because he'll know what kind of impact it can have on a broken soul. He'll love me more than words and still make sure that I turn into an independent individual who could live without his support. Not because he'll have to go someday. But, because he's there to stay. FOREVER..!  And these words will still fall short to describe him. He'll be the indescribable wonder I would always want."

"We all have scars. We all have stories."

After reading the letter, her mother had tears in her eyes. She turned the blood stained piece of paper in her hands. At the back, there was just one feebly written line,
"I found him and he went away.... I am going to search for him. Goodbye."
And her mother was only left with some words, tears and THE WISHFUL SILENCE....

To The Broken Ones...

I had no other option but to run away,
For I was the one who lost her way.
I lost myself to the insensitive souls.
I lost myself to the halves and the wholes.

I lost my laugh to the ones I loved.
I lost my tears to my dear beloved.
I lost my sleep to the dream I carried.
I lost my senses to the secrets I buried.

But, there was something left behind,
Something left behind those losses.
That flame, that fire,
Which is at it's last breath,
And at times flickers and glosses.

It reminds of my first flight to dreams,
And reminds me of the joy and it's realm.
Though, the bliss is mortal.
And it takes away the chortle,
Out of thy lives,
Out of thy souls.

Nothing seems better but to die,
The truthful smile turns into a wry.

Those dreams are broken,
The reveries are shattered.
You are throttled, you're choking,
With an ugly grey, the beautiful canvas is splattered.

Remember, you're not alone,
You'll never be the only one,
I know the glee is gone,
Thus, this is my tribute to the broken ones....

Really?

Here's to a friend who probably wants to kill me right now, who is probably thinking, "Oh man, what did i do to deserve a friend like her." or maybe "I hate her. I will never talk to her again." Well, chum, you won't be successful in doing anything of the above because i won't let you. I just won't let you. It's the friendship that matters, not the silly issues. Also, i would like to say a huge thank you. Because, you inspired me to write about another common phase everyone goes through.

M I S U N D E R S T A N D I N G S

Every relationship has gone through it. Be it friendship, love, parenthood or anything else.

One thing i don't like about some people is that they keep absolutely mum when a misunderstanding has happened. I mean dude SPEAK UP. Issues won't speak for themselves. You have to sort them out. Call the person. Do those efforts. Tell them you are angry and that you didn't like the way they spoke to you or that whatever they said, it hurt you. Be open about everything. You liked it? Tell them. You didn't? Then go and speak to them instead of carrying that glum expressions around for days. Like, come on..!!! Someone said something to you over a text and you're sad about it. You decide not to talk to that person. You talk to him/her after 2 days and they really have no idea what you're upset about. Communication is the key. They could have possibly said it casually or as a joke. Chill. Sh*t happens. Everyone goes through it. But, that doesn't mean you have to be sad about it for an eternity. Call them, meet them, sort out the issue. DONE.!

Being said that, NEVER keep your dignity at risk. Bend once, bend twice. But, never let anyone break your dignity. Self respect matters and absolutely no one has the right to take it away from you. If a person does not care about the relation they have with you and just do not care about you, leave that jerk (or princess jerk) alone. Never disturb them again. But, if they do care about you and want to sort things out. Give them a chance.

Back to my silly friend. A message for you.
If you're reading this, i just want to end this with a quote.
"Rishton me daraarein tabhi padti hain agar insaan galatfehmi me uthe sawalo ka jawaab khud dhund le."
**Wink** ;)

Well.. First of all sorry to give a pause to the trail of the iNViSiBLE GiRL..!!! But sometimes, you just cannot control the urge to write what you want to..
Soooo......!!!!
                                                            ****LOVE****

No one escapes the vibes of love. Everyone has to, HAS TO face it at some point in their lives. For some, it goes well, while for others, it's a topsy turvy land..! There is a third category of people i would like to talk about today. The ones who fall in and out of love as often as they change their clothes.
One question that pops up in my mind while writing the above line was, "Boys who belong to THIS third category are known as MAJNU's. Right.? Then Why girls who belong to THIS category are not called LAILA's..? Strange..!
And Silly.
And by silly i remember someone.
ME..!
Silly smile,
Silly style,
Silly you..
And well Silly ME..!! =P

My god.. This wierd bug has got into my head lately, it makes me write everything that i possibly don't want to.
And this bug just forced me to write about                <<< LOVE.. LOVE.. LOVE>>>

It's easy for some.
It's tough for some,
Good for some,
Bad for some..

But, it really doesn't matter to some. It's just a matter of Give And Take. But, according to me, love is all about mutual understanding. It's about staying together in adverse situations and loving each even during those harsh fights.
Here, i would like to give an example from real life.
Once i was sitting in Mc'Donalds with my family and having fun. I was looking here and there (belonged to that third category earlier *_^ ) just when i saw an old couple walking through the door. They were around 60 years of age. The uncle pulled a chair for her wife and sat infront of her and asked, "Ice cream khaogi.??"
My parents found it rather funny but i found it cute. LOVE was the reason for their togetherness.

This particular incident leads me to another phase of love.
RELATIONSHIP.
Generally, relationships come with sweet and sour memories. It depends which memories you want to cherish. At times, the sour memories turn sweet, while, at times, the sweet ones turn sour.
Relationship is all about getting to know each other. Some people love each other, but cannot live together. Result = Failed Relatiosnhip..!!!!
#TILT#
GUYS, Get to know your girl, respect her. Love her.
GIRLS Get to know your guy. Respect him.Give him some space.
And this advice to both of you. NEVER TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED..!
This reduces the trust, and for that matter the love.
She loves him. He loves her. But the love is missing. What the hell..?!
Yeah, this happens. TRUST ME.! ;)
Well, let's get back to our story, our cup of tea, i.e. , the MAJNUS' and the LAILAS'.
Do you ever stop and think that why on earth have these people turned the way they are now? There can be numerous reasons. Let's put them in bullet points:-
1.) They loved someone, who loved someone else. Result- everyone turns out to be a jerk.
2.) They got the one person they loved, but before you could turn into a jerk, they turned into one. Result- everyone becomes a jerk.
3.) They were born this way.
So, there's no reason to be all messed up and curious, because certain question should just be left unanswered.
**WinK**

iNViSiBLE GiRL..!! Chapter-6

She dozed off while losing herself to those thoughts again. Next, she woke up and saw her mother sitting there with a plate full of food. It was'nt HEALTH FOOD.. It was HEALTHY FOOD..!!!!
With spoons full of desi-ghee (god forsaken, a full pool of it everywhere), which made her mother think this will make her stronger. Her mother extended her hand with a piece of ROTI and DAAL full of her LOVE. Mihika ate in silence. She ate a little and then asked permission to sleep again. Her mother, without negotiating for having more food, let her sleep. She slept.

When she woke up she realised it's just half an hour since she slept. She sat straight up and thought about all the good (and the bad) times. She thought about Agastya and then the face of her mother flashed in front of her eyes.
"Wow.... see how life changed me", she thought.
"My mother loves me so much, and i am crying for a guy who will never return" she said to herself.
"Dear diary.. let's share something new with you today" she said.
"Something HAPPY, something not so sad.. Something worth the love my mother has for me"
"Let's write something about what a person does when sadness comes along.."She thought.
She started writing with all her dedication and don't know why she felt a little stronger.

THE VACANT BLUES.........!!!! 

                       -Mars Vs. Venus.. ;)

One bad thought, One bad day..

One sad tear, One bitter truth..

Changes it all.. RIGHT..??!!!

One mistake, Many imperfections,

Is enough to make a girl cry.

But what if..? The person is ready to forgive "HIM"self..?!

What if that one mistake pops into the account of MARS rather than VENUS..?!

Well, As they say.....

MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS" ..!"

The only thing this quote implies is the difference in the thought process. Some say, it's just the difference in the way they perceive things. Others say, it's related to the Greek Mythology ,i.e, THE GOD OF WAR and THE GODDESS OF LOVE... Xoxo.. LOL..!! =P

Some even say it's because of the capability to adapt things, and then they relate it to all sorts of "PHYSICAL QUANTITIES" like Pressure, Gravity.. BULLSHIT..!!

According to me (ok ok.. i agree, i'm not a celeb or something. But, you gotta use your fundamental rights somewhere - RIGHT TO SPEECH)

So yeah, According to ME..

IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD..!!

Some say,

"Give a girl all your love, share all your pain with her.

All she will do is sympathise.

Give her a Disney movie instead..

And she will sob like anything.!"

Girls... are not as cold as it seems.

Neither.. are they emotional fools.

Another "SOME" say..

"Guys are supposed to be tough and if a guy cries, he is broken"

Why..? Ain't he a human being.?

I would like to give my twist to the age-old MARS Vs. VENUS fight. BUT, in terms of their perception towards THE VACANT BLUES.. i.e. the way they tackle sadness.

Let's Start People..!! =D

"Crying Is Cleansing. There Is A Reason For Tears, Happiness Or Sadness."

A girl loves crying. - NO.!

She loves manipulating things with her puppy eyes and PRECIOUS tears. - WRONG.!

She cries even when not needed to prove her point.. GET A LIFE GUYS..!!!!!

WOMEN... are simultaneously the most stable as well as unstable creatures when it comes to emotional well-being. She will cry when she is happy. She will scream when she is sad.

MEN... will just smile when they are happy and will never break their silence when they are sad. But, let them see their favourite cricket match. THERE GOES A SIX..!!!! Booyaaaaa,,, They are ecstatic.

"I Think Often, Sadness Is A Great Place To Get Songs From"

WOMEN... One fight..!! And they can write thesis about it, give an hour long presentation or stay silent and listen to the saddest of the songs.

MEN... They too, listen to songs,  but are those songs sad..? Well, depends on PERCEPTION. If it's a true heartbreak, then all the i-pads, i-phones and i-pods are filled with slow melancholies. While some men prefer being MAD..! Who knows the jazziest of some tunes might right now be playing in your earphones... ^_*

A famous song says..

"In So Deep, Can't Think About Giving It Up.. But, I Never Knew Love Would Hurt This Freaking Bad."

LOL..!! =D

WOMEN... find it real hard to move on or move past the old feelings. But, somehow, they have this fatal tendency to generate new feelings while still holding on to the old ones. THIS, complicates the situation. SADNESS.. the ultimate result.

MEN... It's hard for them too. But somehow they stay strong during the process.

They might shed a million tears in solitude, but when it comes to show their feelings, they go, "Dude, i had sadness for breakfast. Let's have a little workout for lunch."

It ain't easy for most of the people. But, again..

PERCEPTION DIFFERS.!

"In My Deepest Parts Of Sadness, I am Always Making A Joke Or Being Sarcastic."

WOMEN... Try to stay happy, BY BEING SAD. They think a lot, get sad and eventually try to get over it. Some do.. Some DON'T.!

MEN... Well,

Give them some sunshine, Give them some rain,

Give them some tequila shots and they are good to go again..! ;)

They drink, roam around, try to think about something funny and GET OVER IT..!!!!!

"Sadness Flies Away On The Wings Of Time."

WOMEN... Certain women are smart enough to let go off the past. Some are just fools. The only thing i like in the FASTRACK advertisements is the tag line. MOVE ON..!!

MEN... They drown in the blues and rise from scratch. Earlier it's all dark and dreary and suddenly.. BOOM..!!! Sunshine everywhere. Thus, it's apt on men.

Last But Not The Least...

"We Never Taste A Perfect Joy, Our Happiest Successes Are Mixed With Sadness."

Whether it's MEN or WOMEN, it depends on the way you perceive a problem.

It's up to you whether you findJOY in your SORROWS

Or

SORROWS in your JOY..!!! =)

iNViSiBLE GiRL..!! Chapter-5

"Don't eat food, eat junk food, eat rubbish, eat whatever you want to. What else is going to happen..??" Mihika's mum said angrily.
"Sorry.." was all she could say.
"What sorry..?? Today you fainted again. The doctor said you need nutrition. You need to eat or you will fall sick" She was all the more furious now.
"Ok fine. I will eat.." She said and hugged her mother. She melted and hugged her tighter.
"You need to take care beta.. please" Her mother said.
"I will.." Mihika said and smiled.
"I am going to make food for you, just rest till then." Her mother smiled back at her and went to the kitchen to get her princess some nutrients and she closed the door behind her lightly.
As soon as she went out of the room, Mihika took her diary and started scribbling. She was in pain, in sheer pain. She did'nt want her mother to see it. So, she decided to tell her to the diary instead.



Two Years..!!! I waited for you for two years Agastya... I waited for you to say  I LOVE YOU MIHIKA... and when that day came, It took you away from me..!!!

DRINK YOUR TEARS...

I am under my blanket,

Feeling the warmness,

And through my eyes flows a cascade,

And takes me to the dark deepness..!!

Your thoughts are invading my soul,

As i remember your ultimate goal.

Of never letting me cry..

And since then these eyes have not been dry.!!

Tears flow without a halt,

And i can taste the bitter salt,

Of pain, of anguish..!!!

I am trying and trying and trying..

But this pain just would'nt vanish..!!

I am curling in pain,

Under this cosy disguise.

That importance you gave me turned to disdain..!!

And i feel that i am falling from a high rise..

I remember when i used to cry,

You came near.

You said, "Baby, stop them, TRY..!!

Or i will drink your tears..!!"

I used to stop..

I used to smile.

Not even a single tear would drop.

After that sweet sentence, that caring line..!!

Once, i remember..

I lost something dear..

And i came under the influence of a fear.

You came near,

And you drank all my tears.!!

That soft touch, That care you showed..

I swore i'll never cry.

You made me vow so..!

But now that you are not with me.

It's killing me, this dependency..!!!

And the salty pain is flowing again,

With each drop falling.. I CAN FEEL THE PAIN..!!!

I am hurt, i want to die..!

I want to stop, i don't want to cry....

Amidst this pain, my heart deeply wishes that you were here..

To magically vanish this pain and TO DRINK ALL MY TEARS...!! ='(

Where are you Agastya..???!! I need you... Come back to me.. Please... I NEED YOU..!!!! ='(

iNViSiBLE GiRL..!! Chapter-4

After she was done with dinner (though reluctantly), she got up and went straight to her room. She sat on the bed and again clutched her diary tight. She locked the door and started crying badly. All those bad parts, all those bad memories, bitter moments, the night replayed itself infront of her eyes and she again went through that pain, that anger pent up inside of her. She hit her fist on the table hard, again and again and AGAIN..!!! She just could'nt take it. She had to HAD TO share it with someone. Since 3 long years, it was with her, the night. She had no best friend, no one to share it with. So, she decided to do the usual, TELL THE TALE TO HER DIARY.!

Dear Diary,

Today, I want to tell you the secret behind my sadness, Behind my tears, Behind my pain.

15th February 2010, MONDAY...

AGASTYA.. The soulmate every girl would die for. But, he was mine, MINE..!!! First day of our togetherness. 14th February, he proposed me at 12 in the night. I can never forget those words.

"Here I Wish You A Be Lated Valentine's Day..

Here I Wish To Be The First One To Wish You A Very Happy Birthday..!!

Here I Am, Wishing You Could Be Mine..

Girl, You're So Beautiful. So Divine..!!

I Just Have One Question To Ask, A Single Line To Say..

Please Be My Girl Forever, Let's Show Life, WE DO IT OUR WAY..!!!"

And there i was filled with tears of joy and went on saying yes. First Boy i was about to date, seemed exciting. I said yes and there we were together FOREVER.

Next day, a date was planned and it was my birthday therefore no one could refuse my wish to go out with "FRIENDS".

We went near a lake, The most beautiful evening of my existence. Remember? I wrote ESCAPISM that day...??

ESCAPISM

So hypnotic that night was,
When sleep overcame me.
Even in open eyes, DREAMS were not at loss,
Even in dreams, I was dreamy..!

I dreamt about a beautiful land.
Far apart from me, there you stand.
With a mischievous grin,
And you looked at me with those eyes,
Like I was the most beautiful.. The most prim.

It was a magical night.
With stars twinkling and the moon shining bright.
You came towards me, the way I envisaged..!
With every step of yours, my heart beat raised.

We walked together,
To sit besides the lake.
I felt we were meant to be together,
Just for heaven’s sake..!!

We sat with our feet half drowned,
In the cold water and the nostalgia that crowned.
Sitting there with hands intertwined.
In the lake’s reflection, with the shining moon..
Our love too.. did shine.

My head rested on your shoulder,
We closed our eyes and you caressed my hair.
I grew more comfortable and bolder,
everything seemed beautiful and fair…

Suddenly, I opened my eyes..
Out of that island I was, I realised..!!
It was just a dream which ended,
The only thing I dreaded….

But, at least, for sometime I was with you…
May be it was a dream, someday, likely to be true..!!
....................

The dream came true but to shatter. While we were returning, he parked his bike near the road. He said he wanted to buy me a gift. He told me to stand near the bike. I stood there and waited. I was sooo excited. He was returning from the shop but then he saw an old lady crossing the road. He went ahead to help her but then....
That sight is something i will never forget. I saw a truck hit him. He pushed the old lady aside and got hit by it himself. God WHY..???!!!!!! Why it had to be him.?? Why HIM..??!!!!!!

Tears kept trickling down her face. She fainted.